Hey Reader,

Yesterday, I got to talking to a total stranger about a hair tie I was considering wearing.

She was older, refined, and lovely. The hair tie? A slightly fancy bandana situation I was thinking of tying at the top of my head to tame an unruly braid.

I asked, “Isn’t this a little young for me? I feel like it’s better suited for my daughter.”

“How old is she?” she asked.

“Sixteen,” I said.

She paused. Quietly did the math. Then:
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​“So you’re what… 34?”

If you know me IRL, you're doing what I did. Silently waiting for the punchline bc hello? It's been quite a while since I've been 34. I mean, I actually had said teenager when I was 34. And listen—I could’ve said thank you and floated out of there on a cloud of delusion and dry shampoo. But I didn’t.

I corrected her.

I told her I was 50.

And her jaw actually dropped. She couldn’t believe it. Said she would never have guessed. And peeps, I have been living off that interaction for a solid 48 hours: there is a woman in the world who thought I was 34 years old. GOLD.

Because we’ve all been fed this idea that aging women are invisible. And 34? Even a pretend 34? It felt freaking glorious.
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But as a real life 50, I’m also here to tell you this:

Some of us are getting more visible with age.​
More vocal. More powerful. More unwilling to be told to sit down and smile nicely.

Which brings me to this week’s guest: Kirsten Miller, bestselling novelist and creator of the Watch Your Back Substack. Her books (The Change, Lula Dean’s Library of Banned Books) aren’t just page-turners—they’re a rally cry for women who are done being underestimated. And holy cow, so freaking good. Like literally so good that I wanted to interview her first; find a reason she might fit into the podcast later. THAT is how good.

We talk about:

• Why midlife is not the beginning of the end (and hi? it might just be the beginning of your villain origin story)
• How magical realism can be a tool for resistance
• What to do when people stop listening (spoiler: get louder)
• Why Kirsten’s characters fight back in exactly the ways women need to see

🎧 [Listen to our conversation here.]​
📚 [Buy her books. Seriously.]​

If you’ve ever looked around and thought, “Wait a minute—how did I get quieter with age when I’ve got more to say than ever?”—this episode is for you.

It’s one of my favorite conversations of the season, and honestly, I’ve been kicking myself for not promoting it more. So I’m doing it now. Loudly. With a hair tie. B/c ahem...obviously I now own several.

Warmly,
Danielle

P.S. If you missed this one when it came out (hi, that’s on me), now’s your chance to catch up. It’s bold, brilliant, and required listening for any woman who’s ever been told her best years are behind her.

P.P.S. Know someone who needs to hear it? Forward this email and include the words: “Trust me. You’ll feel like buying a cape afterward.”